This was not the post I was going to do, but I won this candy. Its the first on I have ever won and I cant believe it. The candy was from Clare Curd.
I wanted to say a little something, I am waiting for a scan on my gall bladder this time they want it with dye. I got a comment from someone the other day and I thought I would just set the matter right, although the comment did not come from anyone in the crafting world. I feel a but upset, I have a mother that thinks I am not ill and I am sure the girls I work with think that I that I am not in the pain I say I am. The trouble is I have a face I put on when I go to work, I try so hard not show I am in pain, we are not allowed to say to our residents when we are ill so therefore when I walk out of my door at home I put a face on to say I am fine. the trouble is no one sees me at home they have no idea how many pain killers I take. No one sees me in the middle of the night in pain and not able to sleep, walking around the house or fidgeting around the bed to try and get comfortable so I can manage another few hours of sleep. No one sees me when I feel sick and don't want to eat My husband sees it all and knows that I am fed up with pain and cry a lot at home, yes I cry its the waiting that gets me down, not knowing how much longer I have to sit in pain until the next scan and when they will deceide what they will do. Do the doctors care... no does the NHS care ..... no but like thousands of other people I have paid in all my working life since I was 15 years old, I have never had time off for children so they have had over 40 years of money off me and still we wait for something to be done. I have had pain now for over 5 and half years on and off, at first it would moan for a couple of days and settle down, and come back every so often, but last year I was diagnosed with Polymalgia and put on steroids, the high dose of steroids killed the pain but as I came off the steroids the pain started again and by the time I was completely off the steroids the pain was bad and since then has never gone away. Now I am in pain 24/7 and on the top dose of pain killers, I cant take the full amount because I drive and they send me off to sleep so I take them when the pain gets unbearable. Unfortunately I have a tan at the moment from Turkey so I look better than I am. Well there you have it, so for anyone who thinks I am not ill perhaps they might think again.
I hope you will come and see my blog again and next time the post will be tatting as promised.
In the meantime have a lovely weekend and take care